Signs that a campus girl wants to move in permanently

On the seventh day God created man, well, on the eighth day, the woman begged God to create her. Ugandan women are some of the most creative creatures in this world, they will even begin cohabiting with you, without realizing, by the time you blink, a ring will be on your finger, and by the time you wake up, she will be asking for Junior’s school fees.

Below we bring you some warning signals to alert you that she is planning for a long unexplained stay at your place.

1. Toothbrush: When a lady brings her toothbrush into the house, then she’s planning an overnight at your place and another fortnight is in the making if the toothbrush ‘accidentally’ remains in the holder. Unlike sponges, which they can freely share with us, they can’t share a toothbrush, so they always bring their own. If you notice a toothbrush in the hand bag, just get dishes, go to the nearest restaurant and get food for two , alternatively call your boda guy to deliver.
2. Combs, Make-Up kit: If she brings her combs, her lipsticks and leaves them over at your place, you can as well, add her make-up to your monthly shopping list.
3. Her Movie Collection: If she brings those series, telenovelas, soaps, Novels  and adds them to your Cd rack, Worst of all if your Tv Screen has been abducted by Telemundo, zee world, Keeping up with the Kardashians, my brother Mama Phina is still alive and kicking, consult her on how to get rid of her.
4. She asks to know the landlord or landlady: Never introduce that lady to the landlady or landlord because once you do, she will have witnesses to expedite you. Don’t even introduce her to your neighbors, always treat her like any other visitor when she comes. Otherwise you will be leaving among the most recent and high Tech CCTVs capturing every move you make including the ‘takeaways’.
5. Her Favorite Dress: If she leaves her favorite dress at your place and notifies you that it’s her best dress, then she’s going to stay for over a month. Because it’s her favorite dress and it’s at your place and she has to be near her favorite dress so she can wear it as long as she pleases.
6. Changing dresses:This is a sure alert, if she has more than two changing dresses, kindly plan to lose someone and go to the village for burial before she buries you. If you don’t get rid of her as early as possible, then you are in for it. Do you know how much laundry soap and powder costs these days?
7. Phone Charger: If she brings her small phone charger remember these small phones’ battery can last for a week, then you are in for a long-time with her, she’s planning on staying longer than usual. She will discharge your financial life and increase your electricity bills. Spoil all the sockets.
8. Pads: Seriously ladies if you plan to come for a ‘visit’ why carry ‘girl moment’ ‘bread’ at his place, my brother if she does then you are finished. Only wives do this in the presence of their husbands.
9. Panty Peg: This is a killer these days sincerely what are you going to hang on there? His shirts? This is a true sign that her panties are going to dry on there for unaccounted for time.
10. Cook-book:….ha ha ha this deserves a laugh, does he really need a cook book to host you for a day? KFC is still open and ‘mama toninyira’ still has offals and cassava. If she brings her cook-book, then she wants to cook for you until love do you apart. Don’t allow her to step into your kitchen, she may mistake it for her previous kitchen and stay even longer.
11. Photo Album: Now this one is a must no. Never and never allow her to bring her photo-album. If she does, she will use it as evidence to implicate you in the courts of love. She will fill the album with photos where you are appearing together in compromising situations.
12. Sharing the same Bed overnight: I know I am going to be mean here; Well you can make love on your bed, but never spend a night together on the same bed regardless of how cold it may be. Always have a spare mattress, and don’t give up your bed for her, she’s the one supposed to sleep on the floor on that mattress, you own the house, she doesn’t. Spending the night on the same bed signifies a new definition of your relationship. It tells her that she can stay for as long as she desires.
13. Plates, Cups, Saucepans, Cutlery and charcoal stove: Ask her what she’s planning to cook? If she has no clear answer, she’s planning to cook you into marriage. Don’t allow anything that brings up fire in the house, she will cook all the food you planned to last you for a month in just a week. If you see these items in your kitchen, kindly report to the nearest police my brother. She’s now your wife, she has moved in. If she ever brings any of these items, shift to a new place or location, if symptoms persist, expect a pregnancy.
14. Panties: As you are busy checking that cabinet where you keep your boxers, you land on one of her G-strings, this is a real signal. She has come to stay, and to avoid a scenario of Museveni and Uganda, discard it and in fact introduce a no-panties policy at your place. She won’t stay longer.
15. Shoes: Today she brings those 7inch heels and leaves them there goes in crafts, tomorrow she will appear with flats still go with crafts before you realize, your wardrobe has become a collection different shoes. And if she brings in all those pairs of old shoes that she no longer uses, then once again, you’ve been trapped. Take these shoes to the cobbler and dump them there.
16. Rat-Beating Contests:If she introduces regular tournaments for beating the rat then she’s staying for another season. The bottom line is, don’t hold the matches at your place, and hold them at her place.
17. Plantains, Tomatoes, onions, royco, meat curry powder, e.t.c: If she brings such foodstuffs to your place, develop some multiple-personality disorder and destroy all of them. Only wives buy such items. Hide your cooking oil, hide your gas cylinder, Ugandan girls are not easy.
18. Brings Her Favorite Knife: This is common with Baganda girls, these women always have their favorite knife which they prefer when peeling. If she brings her knife, hide it, otherwise if she lands on it, she will stay till Olara Otunnu gets a wife.
19. Panga, Axe, Iron Bar and Acid: If you see these items my brother Erase your phone memory messages in fact format it all. The panga, axe and the Iron Bar, may be used as well most of us know the story of Kazini and Draru. However, for the acid, this is a clear indicator that she doesn’t expect any other female creature to ever step into this house or pass near your door. For these cases, we would advise you to commit suicide than kill yourself slowly.
20. The last nail in the coffin is when she brings that lesu or old dress which she will use to carry out her domestic duties, her novel which she never completes and then that rolling bag or suitcase to signify that she’s moved in. In that case my brother, plan to buy a Kanzu and Gomesi because the Introduction ceremony is not far away, plan to buy diapers because a baby is on the way and plan to get used to a chatterbox in your home.