It’s official. In 2015, I am getting married. I proposed to my Mukiga Girl during the festive season and she said yes. So if you are my friend, prepare your Kanzus nebigenderako for the introduction which we have scheduled for September 2015.

I’m tired of small boys who still think I’m their size just because I’m not married. This year, I want to show them I’m not a small boy like them and that I’m capable of vibing somebody’s daughter to the point of marrying them.

I also want to show my ex- girlfriend, Abwooli that I really love this Mukiga Girl better than the whole world. You know Abwooli, the other day provoked me.

“If really you love that Mukiga Girl,” she mocked, “then why don’t you marry her? Since you are done with school, what are you waiting for?”

In other words she insinuates that I’m not really in love with the Mukiga girl and I have not gotten over my break up with her (Abwooli).

For the first time I felt like slapping Abwooli. As in, who does she think she is? Is she some sort of demi goddess or witch whose spells have bound my whims to her charm forever and ever?

No. That’s not true. It can’t be true that without Abwooli my love life is forever doomed and I can only find happiness if I marry her. And I am going to prove it by marrying my Mukiga Girl in December this year and living happily thereafter.

I want Abwooli to be at that wedding and witness that moment when the Pastor will say “And the groom may now kiss the bride.” I want Abwooli to see the kind of kiss I will plant on my Mukiga

Girl’s lips and the weight of love in it. Perhaps then, she will appreciate how deeply embedded the affection of my Mukiga Girl is in my veins.

I want her to go back that night after our wedding and soak her pillow in tears because I will be gone and gone forever from her life. Only the Mukiga Girl will have a right to my love.

But again I fear because Abwooli isn’t loyal. She may want to cause a scene, just that last kick of a dying horse. What if when the pastor asks for anyone with “a reason as to why these two (Musumba Zak and the Mukiga Girl) should not get married,” to say it or forever hold their peace and Abwooli refuses to hold her peace. What if she uses that as the moment to take her revenge on me for dumping her and cooks up a reason to block my marriage to the Mukiga Girl? What if, just what if.

So what am I going to do? Invite her? Off course not. In fact I should instruct the person in charge of security to look out for anyone who resembles her at the wedding and bounce her just in case she shows up at the venue from where we shall take your vows. Yes. I have to be sure man. I don’t want anything going wrong on the day I’m marrying the most amazing woman in your life.

Yet I would want her to witness but I would rather give her the videos. She can crash the DVDs after watching. That’s better than her messing with the most important moment in my life.  And that’s what I will do, just give her the videos and enjoy my wedding without the fear of Abwooli.

Related: An open love letter to that girl who promised “to tell me something”

  love, Relationships