From last month most of you have graduated from the different universities and others are yet to graduate, congratulations for doing your parents, friends and the village proud.
You received congratulatory messages wishing you well from all over, hope they all meant it.
Now a piece of advice from the perspective of experience on how to get into the current job market.
Now even if you have graduated with a Bachelors Degree in Chemical and Viagra Engineering, but when you can’t write a super classic CV, you are in trouble.
Instead of wasting bundles watching pornography online, you can search on CV writing skills. Most of you fresh from school write CVs which look like a recipe for preparing mushroom soup, such a Vitae can’t earn you a job even as watchman.
You need to learn and practice on how to walk as fast as a peacock on heat because tarmacking you will. Invest in light shoes and a grey shirt which can be re-winded daily as you move from office to office dropping your applications which will be thrown into the dustbin even before you reach the gate on your way out.
Remind your mum to be praying for you daily because troubles are just starting. And don’t all come to Kampala, there are enough graduates already in the city. If you can find a job in your up county headquarters., please better appreciate.
Walk into interviews confidently. Look at the interviewers in the eyes and praise your achievements like nobody’s business.
Develop communication skills because that is what will make the difference. There are already excess graduates out on the streets and employers don’t excuse graduates who can’t express themselves in front of panels.
Forget about love. For some men, you could easily trick naive first years and have constant flow of being laid for FREE. Out here things are hard. For you to get that shot you need to buy a Pizza, chips, a GMO fried chicken, size 32 bra, data bundles, fare for a week, 50k for salon, ice cream… Now since you are currently broke, you better endure the drought. Patience is a virtue and abstaining for 2/3 years has never killed anybody.
For girls: Keep those legs together if you don’t want ‘men’ to turn that tight thing of yours into a 6 feet wide furrow/gulley/passage/tunnel in a month. Wear and tear is a reality. Most men are certified professionals in ‘tightness’ eradication.
Life is good, live well and right as you think creatively like a graduate ready to apply the knowledge obtained from university.
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